Her Story VII

I can't count for you how many blog posts I've written since I last posted here. Unfortunately, they were all done via a personal favorite of Dr. John Dorian. The Internal Monologue. And like J.D.'s silly and sometimes elaborate tangent fantasies, these telepathic blogs that fail to publish to any known server tend to take on qualities of movies and television shows. No, I don't mean I write stories about my life that end up involving actual characters, but rather as I notice there are things in life that really do come up as if they were a last minute plot contrivance I also go into a sort of "scripting and directing" mode. Thus, the blogs start getting way too planned out for my own good (cue music) and don't exactly translate well to the written page, or pixel if you will. Perhaps that is where I fall short of segueing my J.D. into my Carrie.

My other has been encouraging both these sides of me, however, but I believe he gave up some where around New Years. I mean, there's still the occasional "writing is something you enjoy, do it more" spiel to get me motivated, but at this point he's (rightly) left it up to me to decide.

However, I know he genuinely does want this for me, and I'm glad for that. Especially since I wasn't really in total "writing" mode when we first got together so he never actually saw the regularity that I did it, nor the happiness and (cliche, I know) calm it brought me. The funny thing about it all though is that while he understands my want and my need for it, he doesn't understand how I get motivated.

Take tonight, for example. I have been looking forward to this night for a while. Lights down low, speakers on loud. Maybe a nice glass of wine. Time to cuddle up on the couch with a nice blanket, and watch the season premiere of "Lost"! While this may seem silly, this is one of the only shows I've actually followed start to (and this will be true in a few years) finish when it was first airing. I generally watched reruns growing up (I miss the old Nick at Nite, truly "a TV viewer's dream"), and I know this is cheesy but there is something about wondering what the hell is going to happen next that is exciting. Now that I know there is a specific end (oh how "Stargate SG-1" would have benefited with that, among many countless other series. You know who you are.) I can become more invested in the show. As that happens, I enjoy it more, which then... wait for it (yes it has a point, and apparently a lot more comments in parentheses. I'm like my own MST3K! And if you can't figure out what that is by just those five characters, then me telling you the name of it wouldn't matter anyway to this commenting. But I digress, as usual.). ... Okay, where were we? (<-- Comment put in for attempt at humor.) Oh yes, the more I enjoy something such as "Lost," it gets me more excited about creating my own media, and thus beginning to get more excited about writing! So I turned down all the lights, cranked up the stereo and tuned in intensely to watch... and he just thought it was the silliest thing. He respected it, and he watched it with me (he's missed way too much to understand where they are now, and had unfortunately missed the pre-premiere recap), but he did not get why I got so excited about it. And therefore, how the heck could it help me in my quest?

No matter what anyone's goals are, they may have unconventional or seemingly odd ways of getting there. Take the fact that I just spent precious sleep time (7am open, eww) writing here. Writing this silly, seemingly making no sense entry. Seriously, what does any of this have to do with anything? Well, maybe nothing to you, but...

Hey, I wrote something down, didn't I?